and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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