she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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