There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize