I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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