I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize