She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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