Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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