Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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