on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
how does that bad decision feel?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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