There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize