Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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