kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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