Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize