we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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Be still, my beating vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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