Will you blow on my dice?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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