i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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