So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
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I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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