he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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