so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
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Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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