upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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