Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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