i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
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I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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