dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize