I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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