I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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