why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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