just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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