I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize