i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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