I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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