her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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