i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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