the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
did you just send me my own nude
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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