these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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