I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
kristin has been a bad kristin
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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