Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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