Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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