if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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