i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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