he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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