i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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