Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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