That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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