Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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