i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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