you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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