she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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