Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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