Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
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I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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