may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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